Say do you remember?
by Hitsujiko
Summary: [ShizNat] Natsuki is remembering what happened with Shizuru since the day they first saw each other. How she entered her heart. From the past to the present. To the first glare to...blablabla well you see what I mean?
1. Paragraph 1

_**Say…do you remember?  
**_

Hey…Shizuru, do you remember the first time we met? I mean…when your eyes saw mine for the very first time. Before you spoke to me in the garden. I still have that time engraved in my memories. Our paths had crossed many times already in Fukaa academy. But you were always so well surrounded by those fan girls of yours. So I never really could have a look at the one they all praised.  
But on a sunny afternoon, I had decided to skip math class. So I was sneaking out of school when I passed by a half-opened door. And there you were. While I was cowardly hiding against the wall I could hear your voice and see a little of your face. Standing in front of your class speaking to your classmates with such presence, assurance and ease, you just could not be ignored. And so I stared at that piece of face. I don't know for how long you knew I was there but when I finally came out of my thoughts, you were looking at me with a smile. And then I ran away from the slightly opened door.

By the time I noticed, I was thinking about you. Day and…sometimes at night. Even though I thought about you kind of often after _that time_… it was to avoid you better. As I said "you just couldn't be ignored" but still I tried. Not that in my opinion you weren't pretty but still… There was something about you I could not bear. So once again, I isolated myself from the world. Seeking to forget… to forget the suffering, to forget all about this world full of crap which I lived in. I had hidden myself in my unreachable fortress of loneliness. Surrounded by a thousand kilometres of lava ditch, I feared the pain I shunned it. To do so, I just made such to let no one in my life.


	2. Paragraph 2

**- The lamb (Hitsujiko) words-**

Yeah! Here is the second_ Paragraph._ Well, I don't think 11 lines can be called a chapter (Cf. P.1)

I didn't say much on my first chapter please forgive my rudeness. So like many asked; (Even if I have replied to them) No it's not a one shot. There are still 6 others paragraphs to come. \o/

Otherwise it's my first English fic ever. The first of…. Eh… 5. 5 xD (If a count an OOC)  
About that, I may need a Beta reader in a near future. For the rest of this story and for the next ones. So if you are interested well eh... tell me lol.

A special thank to NatsuHime. She helped me a lot with that story. (And the spelling xD) - If you see some mistakes please tell me.  
( A ouais, même si ces 4 comms t'énervent j'en exige un de toi pour ce para. !)

Z'adios. H.K  
Ps: All reviews are welcome even negative (constructive) ones.

* * *

Tell me, do you remember what you told to me _that_ day?  
"You shouldn't do that. Beautiful flowers are to be loved. Since it's doing it's best to bloom during its short life."  
Those words…I will cherish them until…no. I am cherishing them and that until the end of time. They were the first words you told me. I was in that garden ready to close my hand, take that life away with my own hand, when you appeared. To kill was my will but you stopped me. My heart was screaming, being hurt and slowly consumed by the infernal heat of the lava ditch. But the sound of that weeping heart of mine was covered by my soul. The soul was irrefutably commanding, asking for blood and revenge. Listening to the soul, I looked for that blood. Blood that should have marked my hands with the name of the "First district". But you heard. Heard my heart beseeching for delivery. Not only did you heard my heart begging for help, you responded to it. If at the time, I wanted to run away, it was because I had found the thing about you I couldn't bear. Surrounded by all those peoples your life was filled with "love" and mine was so empty. I will never admit it but I may have been jealous. 

After that time in the garden, we started crossing a little more often. Even if I made many things to avoid you, you found me. Without saying anything, while smiling, you looked at me running away. Again. But what I was unaware of was that all those times; you were slowly saving my heart and soul. Each time I saw you, you cooled down, little by little, that burning lava ocean by pouring a little water each time. Until your pure crystal water extinguished the flames that boiled the lava. Soon I wasn't too scared of being burned. I could come out safely… the ditches were filled by your shining water.

Even then I did not know how to swim, you added another obstacle. You still had to climb the fortress I had built for my own protection. Somehow by the window of my stone cage I saw your doing. But I could not do anything to repel you... Somehow, even my soul wanted to be saved. So I let you do. Removing one stone at the time. Stone in what the tower was made of. If I didn't help you it was because even if I wanted to be saved…I was scared of the outside world. Once the tower was low enough you moved your hand towards me. All I had to do was to grab it and walk out of the ruins of the tower. And so I took your hand. But I didn't step out of the ruins. Instead you walked in my remaining fortress. From that day on, we have been two in the remains. And so I had someone in my reachable fortress of loneliness. Two in solitude. Still with your hand you made me stand up on my feet. The first time since _that _night. When my mother…


	3. Paragraph 3 and 4

**- The lamb (Hitsujiko) words-  
**  
Because I was so lazy I didn't update. Well yeah, I mean, exams and stuff lol. (Or me sleeping). So I finally decided to correct those two paragraphs.  
One day I will finish publishing this story and start the … other ones. To tell you the truth, I…well those two are… bof, j'les aime pas (Ou moins) bon! xD

A special thank to NatsuHime. She helped me a lot with that story. (And the spelling xD)

Bref enjoy! o/ (If that is possible)  
H.K

* * *

Say do you remember when I first spoke to you? Come to think of it, it was also the first time for many new habits. You had saved my heart and for that I am very grateful. You still kept looking at me from a certain distance but I didn't mind. I did not run away. In fact, I was happy to see you behind me. You were the only person I let approach. This was my way of saying, "Tank you". You came closer to me every day. So came the day we were side-to-side. At first, I was a little surprise to see you that close but it was okay. Many things crossed my mind. Why were you talking to me? You had saved me. My heart snagged to yours. And so I could not only look at you. I didn't want to see you go and so I responded to your words.  
«- You shouldn't do that. Beautiful flowers are to be loved. Since it's doing its best to bloom during its short life.  
- Who are you?  
- My name is Fujino Shizuru. And you?  
- Kuga...Natsuki  
- Natsuki…it's a pretty name.  
- What do you want?  
- Can't I talk to you without having a reason?  
- Yes…"  
What else could I say to you, how? Since my mother passed away, I never had anyone in my life. I was alone. So how could I know how to respond to a… person I did not dislike… a friend? It was because you were so close to me but yet so far. I thought you would never let me in your world. We were so different. You were in mine but I was not in yours. At least that was what I was thinking at the time. But I was wrong.  
It was the start of a new beginning for me. One where I would have someone by me side. The beginning of a never ending friendship and an incipient love. I am happy that we had a small chat that day. Shizuru…

Do you remember when you caught me in the council room on your PC? Even if I did not want to kill anymore…I still wanted to know. Know about my past. And so I skipped school many times and tried my best to find what I was looking for. But time-to-time, I needed more. More information, not only on students of Fukaa Academy but also on the First District. At first, I used to sneak on your computer when you were absent. But one day, I was in my world, reading what was displayed on the screen. So I didn't hear you when you came in. When I finally saw you, you were at the door. Your eyes on me. I had imagined you were angry. So I tried lying, I told you I was playing games waiting for your return. But you said it was okay and that I didn't need to lie to you.


	4. Paragraph 5

**- The lamb (Hitsujiko) words-**

Yo o/  
-Zut j'dois pensé en anglais...concentration...-

Hello to my (nonexistent) fans I am back! (Yeah I was gone...or not)  
I am sorry for MAJ which were not made very often but I am requested and very busy. (Like if!) Lol Nah summer and school and then I forgot... /ho (Dont kill me TT)  
Once again sorry for wait and my laziness; I have not corrected P5 so if you want to do it and send it back to me...well have fun D  
But I have an excuse!--> "Elle a ses defauts et je l'aime comme ca. Je veux que tout le monde la voit meme si elle est pas parfaite? XD"

H.K

* * *

You remember when you saved me? You came in my world and I went in yours. Many months had passed and many things happened. HiME. I used to believe we were friends but there was something more. After the HiME festival, so many things rush into my mind. After Duran shoot, I knew I wanted to be in your arms. But I did not planned what happened at the end of the festival. Seeing you again…alive. Something's changed between us. You did not hide anymore but you were less there. After the festival, it took me a year to realise…to admit…to accept my feelings. By that time, you enter university.  
Even if it took a while to admit my feelings, I did and so… well.  
It was a Wednesday; my heart was pounding so hard in my chest and it could have exploded. I was walking in circle around my phone trying to find how to do my request. It was noting really…but still. I wanted to hear your voice. I knew... I knew I was in love but I…was shy.  
So I gathered my courage and took the phone. But then, I… had and hesitation, what if you where not at home or busy? I did not want to disturb you. Well in fact I didn't really care but I was nervous.  
I mentally looked at each number I had to compose. Slowly I dial your number.  
"This number is not available. Please dial again. "  
Okay. Maybe I dialled too slowly. So I called back. I swallowed my saliva and waited.  
«Dring dring (Does the phone)  
- Hello, Fujino Shizuru speaking.  
- ……  
- … ? Natsuki I know it's you. You can talk now. "  
Great, I was so nervous I forgot my text…well to speak at least. At the end of the phone I could guess what expression you were making. That same one you always made when you were teasing me.  
"- Hum? Ha eh… how did you now it was me?  
- I have a call display.  
- Oh….

- So what can I do for my sweet Natsuki?  
- Eh... well am I bothering?  
- I was studying b…  
- Okay, call you back. Bye!  
_Arg. What an idiot! I'm complete idiot! I should have thought before calling! She doesn't have time to chat! She has work and its normal…_ "  
Well. That was what I thought about myself at the time I made the call.  
«Dring Dring  
- Yes, hello?  
- Ma mah, that was quite impolite. Hanging on me like this Nat-su-ki…  
- Hum! No! I...eh… I didn't wan… I'm sorry. I did not want to disturb you.  
- I always have time for my Natsuki. Furthermore, long time we didn't spoke.  
- … Shiruzu?  
- What is it?  
- I…eh was…wondering if…hum Friday… you and me…well eh you know…hang out…movie, restaurant…and eh…well…  
- Tell me Kuga Natsuki, are you asking me on a date?  
- Hum?! No! It's noting like that... it's just… yes.  
- Ma, Natsuki you know I could never say no to that. But even then I am pleased of your demand but I will have to refuse the invitation. I have something else that day.  
- Wha… okay. I see. It's okay… I eh, understand.  
- Would you be able to wait for me until Saturday?  
- Yes! Of course! "  
You maybe don't know but you scared me. I was afraid that you said no and you did. But then, I was relieved when you reported it on Saturday. It was not the first time that we hung out together, it was the first time it was a real date. Even if it wasn't a big date, I was happy. In fact, I only wanted to be with you. There was nothing particular but it was good to have you at my side.


	5. Paragraph 6 and 7

**- Hitsujiko's words-**

Hum not much to say except that the end of the fanfiction is coming. Next update actually. Thank you to everyon who has read and/or review.  
[I dont like the story as I use to. Have to admit I passed close to delete it xD Have fun.

(Oh, I stopped correcting, to lazy :p)

Z'adios.  
H.K

* * *

Don't you remember that date? It was maybe around 1 pm when you knocked at my door. I think you had to knock several times because when I finally opened up your joints were red. Such a detail and yet I noticed. The one that opened the door was an all sleepy, in pajama and disheveled me.  
What on earth were you doing there? It was 1 pm, Friday and you were at my door.  
"- Don't you remember? You reported our…date to tomorrow…  
- I know but I couldn't wait until tomorrow… I wanted to see your cute butt as soon as possible… So how is that butt today? Has already Natsuki washed you today? I can help you know?  
- …Shi…Shizuru! Stop talking to my butt will you?"  
While you were speaking to…and/or my butt, I noticed you were caring a picnic basket. So that was going to be our date… nothing spectacular but at least we could be together. So I took a quick shower -I was not going to let you the time to come in…and still…- and changed in more adequate clothes than my pajama. When I came out of my room, I saw that you had moved the little table that I usually had in front of my sofa. Instead you had installed a tablecloth with several dishes. When I asked what was that setup was you said that we were having a picnic. Yes. That, I had noticed but… why were we installed in my living room?  
Something about privacy and the bed being closer…you sex maniac... I took place at your side. I sat leaned to the couch looking at what you offered me. You offered me so much and I…not only food. Soon a chopstick gently took one piece of a meal and took it to my mouth. But that hand…those chopsticks were not mine. I looked into your crimson eyes. They were so soft, those innocent eyes. Nonchalantly I opened my mouth. Ready to eat that meal you cooked for me with so much attention and care. I felt it enter my mouth. What I had in my [mouth was soft and warm and…moving?! I must have closed my eyes a while because when I opened mine I realized. I was surprise to see Shizuru's face that close… gently kissing my lips and intruding her tongue in search of mine. I couldn't help but respond to those feelings. I abandoned myself to your cares and caresses. A sweet, tender and slow kiss. A perfect kiss.

Say…do you remember what happened next? Since that day and even before, we turned out to be inseparable. Like those two birds you liked so much. _Peach Face Lovebird._ Our relation slowly evolved to become something more…more than only going out to diner or going to the movies…well you know. _That_ I know you remember. If you don't I think I would be kind of disappointed. I wasn't that bad… was it that bad for you to forget? But you remember don't you? A night filled with love.  
Your body lightly touching mine, following that slow come and go movement you sometimes gave to our bodies. Licking, kissing, sucking… I allowed your lips and tongue to do everything they desired. Your hands sliding on my naked body… while I sighed from pleasure. You were saying how much you loved me… In life there are two kinds of love. We made both.

In French, Peach Face Lovebirds are called "Inséparable"… in English it meant (Without the context)…well the same thing… Inseparable. So when I thought of it in my head…(Yes! I actually DO think) well it was more…romantic. It sounded better. 


	6. Paragraph 8

Hum noting much to say... lol  
Other than I dont like this para. but lol how cares.

-Suite et fin-

Z'adios  
H.K

* * *

Please. I hope you don't remember. That shade in the lights. I don't know how, when, why it happened but it did. Something so normal who turned out to be so big. Since a few months I was "living" at your place. Well going in and out as in a mill. We had never spoken of it. I came to live with you one cloth at the time. Until they were all on the floor of your room. Eventually we shared the same food, the same bed and you shared my life.  
Nevertheless, you still treated my like a guest. At first I didn't mind. I thought it was one of those little attentions you have for the other person at the beginning of a long lasting relationship. But it continued and I did nothing while you did it all. Keeping control of it all. Not allowing me to make that place my home. So time-to-time I was kind of happy when you were not at your home. Not that I disliked you but it was good to feel useful. Doing things on my own…not being served. But I always came back to you. Because I knew that I loved you. Gradually I brought more and more of my personal belongings.

In the end I completely moved with you. I sold the home where I used to live. With no more place to run…to hide…to… Well at first, it was almost paradise. Even then you continued to serve me. Not that I specially liked to do chores but I couldn't just stand there doing noting. So I proposed my help that you politely refused. The same with the bills and all the small things I could do. I just felted bad about it so I had to kick your (pretty) ass to gain the permission to do what I wanted. In the end, it worked out pretty well for a few weeks. Soon we took back our habits. It was kind of pissing me off.  
Soon that feeling of choking, that lack of air, of space came back to me. Giving me more the impression that you were more a servant than my girlfriend. I hid it all behind my smiles as I used to hide myself in that tower I once had… I hid it because you seemed so happy to do all those stuff.  
When you were out I'd do several little things in the house and "kidnapped" some bills. When you came back I could see that smile on your face. In fact, I knew you were burning from the inside for what I had done. I never understood why you wanted to take care of all on your own.

Came a time where I could not take this anymore. When I became irritated at all those things you did for me. You thought it was because you didn't do enough. So you did more and more did my anger grow. That subject made me scream many times. I tried to tell you. You said that it wasn't and I said yes. You still tried to control everything, control me. You told me that you liked to do those things for me. Did you consider that maybe; only maybe I wanted to do those things for you too?

That "prison" that you created I couldn't bare it any longer. It was killing me…the feelings I once had for you. For our sake it had to be saved…at any cost. By that time I became confused, lost... more and more irritable, never home. We had discussed our situation many times but you never seemed to fully understand. I had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide… whatever I did brought me back at your apartment. I hated that place. I wanted to see it go away, I wanted to be like before. Like it used to be all a sweet perfect dream.

Then my reason vanished and that madness that was trapped inside my mind came out. It came clear to my mind this apartment had to vanish, disappear into thin air…burn! Nothing more, nothing less. At first, I chassed those stupid ideas. But it came back to me many times. Our situation. What it had been, what it was…was because of this place.  
If you crossed me on the road I'd look like a perfect person but inside I was gnawed by madness and insanity. They had taken control of my mind.  
A night like another. A meal made be you, served by you… you, you, you…droved me crazy. So. Start again. Forget all of this. That night I exploded. All the rage…busted out. It didn't take much at dinnertime for me to mess up this place. Throwing, destroying, yelling, crying, hating. You, staring at me trying to understand. Like always I ended in your arms. With you whispering that all was okay. But it wasn't. This time it was different. This place…had to go. To save us. Save what was left of our relation.  
For the following month nothing happened. I was planning what to do. One night when you'd be out, gasoline would recover that prison. All of it. And burn. I studied you schedule closely. Hiding what was about to happened behind a hypocrite smile. Too weak to fight whatever parasite drowned me in the dark. So what is what I decided: One night where you'd be out, gasoline would recover that prison. All of it. And burn.  
I never knew what actually when wrong. But in my insanity I stood there looking at it being reduced to ashes. Contemplating my work. It was so beautiful.  
I never ran from the fire. Standing there. Laughing. Until the smoke crushed my lungs. Like a vicious hand grabbing my body and closing on me squeezing me to death. Unable to laugh, to breathe, and to think anymore I collapsed. Condemned by insanity and madness to die burned by Hell's flames I had awoken…

One year and a half had past since that episode. Many things had changed. From Shizuru's apartment noting was speared from the flames… and so they moved in THEIR new home. Not Shizuru's, not Natsuki's home…it was their new love nest. New home, new start, new lives.  
Sitting on the edge of the window, Natsuki was starring at the dark blue sky. To the stars…lost in her mind as always. Arms cross on the chess, deeply in her thoughts.  
"- Natsuki, dinner is served…  
-…  
- Natsuki ?  
-Hum?  
- What are you thinking about?  
- …  
Shizuru…Will you marry me?"

_What happened next? I only k new what you told me. I woke up at the hospital. You saved me from myself. Once more. Like at the start when you delivered me from the fortress…and so…we…started again._

[30/04/07 to [28/05/07


End file.
